Thursday, 6 December 2007


And Todays award for rudest customer service goes to:

Eat that A.

Thursday, 22 November 2007

Welcome to your life

Acting on your best behaviour:
I saw the best Emily Valentine impersonation the other night. Perfect really. I want her to cut my hair.

Turn your back on mother nature:
(DONT!) 1 day until the election.

Everybody wants to rule the world:
As above

Its my own design:
Some boy came up to me the other night and said "I just want you to know that you're awesome"
Thats my line...just replace awesome with beautiful.
He had good hair.

Its my own remorse:
Can people track their myspace viewers? If they can, im in serious social shit.

I fell in love a few times this week
A boy without facial hair. im developing obviously. Although he was a musician, so perhaps not developing at fast enough rate.

Friday, 9 November 2007

blueberry tea me

Blueberry tea recipe:

in morning, microwave frozen blueberries in uncovered bowl for 1 minute.

eat, etc.

at nighttime, make a cup of tea, as u usually take tea.

forget about it for a good hour.

put it in microwave to reheat, for about 1 minute?



goes well with: reduced fat blueberry muffin.

Gingerbread lattes from starbucks are good.

Thursday, 25 October 2007

An excerpt from my day. Obviously went a little mental after a whole day of unpacking boxes in a warehouse. unpack my box, i say.

To H:
"and here i am eating carbonara out of the saucepan. i had a spare serving left, i was going to message cute boys and say "come lick my bowl" but then i stood over the stove and ate the rest while drinking red wine and talking to C on the phone.
Youll be the cutest person with braces ever. ask about getting them on the back if ur stressed. Ill buy u cute accessories for them. like bands with daisies on them or some shit.
If u cant eat - try sucking on some chocolate. I was going to say "my dick",,, but then ur friends...and mine who stalk me, will think im a freak. or a transvestite. They are not the same. obvs. x"

Friday, 19 October 2007

smuggling duck rilettes

onto a baguette in the change room. id much rather be outside given that the water is so SULTRY but i was scared people would look at me funny -- as i only have a spoon to spread it.

Thursday, 4 October 2007


I wish i had taken photos
Someone get me a lomo and I will have no more excuses

I think Hayley took some. while i was laughing uncontrollably. on floor? something to do with a soap dispenser.

Mermaid theme -
there was one
and nat knew the movie. it was very exciting to learn. i heart nat.

Also learnt that I do not enjoy being demanded into introducing myself. And then being insulted by it - something to do with shaking hands. I probably brought it on myself, a small amount. If only people were kinder.

Lesson 3: Dont drink so much booze. Im 22. I should know better than to end up in a gutter, not being able to move. Except for nodding head. yes. I want to go home. No. I do not want hungry jacks. no I do not need to vomit. Yes. I do need you to pull the cab over. Yes. Now i feel better...yes, someone from college will probably see that tomorrow. Yes. I do want to go back to the party now.

yes i acted like a drunk 15 year old.
yes i am very embarrassed.
no i will not learn from it.


Monday, 3 September 2007

fuck APEC

The sun sign on the harbour bridge was lit up in the AFTERNOON today, whilst APEC is supposed to be discussing global warming and climate change.

Saturday, 1 September 2007

MH is contemplating scent.

facebook is taking over my mind. Every thought/feeling/similar, goes through in my mind as a status edit. e.g. on the train this afternoon, I smelt a familiar smell. Of somebody. It made me turn my head quickly to make sure an ex wasn't on my carriage.
"MH IS...contemplating the scent of a mans cologne. Ex? Or is it the scent of someone left on my pillow?"


The man driving my bus the other day wore a tophat. He also had black fingernails and long hair. Which is fine. except he would take off the tophat while driving, but make sure he would put it on at each bus stop when he was taking coins from riders (of said bus).
I was slightly enchanted, mostly creeped.

Monday, 27 August 2007

duck me

I was stood up for dinner tonight...or like, forgotten about anyway (for the first time ever!...almost?)So i went down the road to get some gnocci for my duck ragu. And i bumped into my old friend. He said 'whats cookin, good lookin?' and i said 'duck ragu'. and he said 'wanna duck'?
And two little ducks went home one night
A little bit of ducking, that they might.

Just kidding. I really did have ragu though.

Friday, 24 August 2007

8th birthday hey?

I went to the movies this afternoon, all by myself. I've been wanting to do it for ages. I was surrounded by elderly couples, and lady friends with white hair. And one 80yo man sitting by himself, cruising the old girls.
I'll feel quite content when I can do a movie AND dinner alone. Scallops maybe.
I also cooked this evening! I never cook...

I can't cook.

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

86. bits.

i cant believe i went op shopping today and only came home with 2 magic looking mushrooms.

Monday, 13 August 2007

No. whatever. Trevor

The red wine is trying to eat my brain...

Thursday, 9 August 2007

The number below. plus 1

You know what I hate?
R rated porn.

I got free tickets to the cure yesterday - i was in the right place at the right time, but i had to sell the ticket because the crowd was so nasty.
Stripy socks, stockings, unwashed for a month hair, black eye makeup, skirts with sneakers - do not equal style. Or a style.

i would like to put them in a bath and give them a scrubbing brush.

oh perhaps now ive gone too far.

Thursday, 2 August 2007

still havent figured it out...oh oh...15?

I bought pretty things today. And now I cannot afford to pay the tax man. Or pay him back from last year. Oopsie. Perhaps if I gave him the name of a lovely shop I found today, he would change his mind. Dirty Pretty Things. Full of wisps (for want of a better word, that one is too cliche) of fabric and shelves of tassles. Red velvet drapes and black carpet - not quite too bordello-esque, but hinting at the similarity. Very Gorgeous and talkative owner, and happy to show off her own underwears.
Perfect really.

oh "moving on up" by dreamworld just came on the radio. hahaha i love this shit.

Wednesday, 1 August 2007

let's face it - i've lost count

Man in hyde park this morning. No T shirt. Removed belt, on pathway. Looked as if he was acting out a scene of a play or doing taekwondo (oh shit i cant believe i spelt that right!). "The lady, she'll be mine!" - while reaching down stairway pole towards road. He also prayed and reached out to (non-existant) lady when police came.
"what you take?" .... "ice, you smoked some ice?!"
I thought he was some part of an art festival.

This would be funny if someone good wrote it down.

Tuesday, 31 July 2007

I dont know...15?

In celebration of eating my entire birthday cake, I have this to say:
"Yeah they want you to be the girl with the most cake.
Someday - you will ache like I ache
Lets dance all night - til the end of my life
I want to be the girl with the most cake"

dig in, dont wait.

Friday, 27 July 2007

Am I up to 11 now?

I came down with the flu on my birthday, yesterday. Yes, I am officially old. And how I know that this particular age=oldness? I woke up and my ass was bigger. I have spent the past 24 hours alternating between sweating and shivering, working my way slowly through a raspberry and pecan birthday cake (it has rose buds on the top). Also have to get up at 5am.

Wednesday, 25 July 2007

9. Past 10.

I missed 9. So here it is. I felt bad leaving it out.

Saturday, 21 July 2007

No 7...Rhymes with...Devon. Fritz is better.

Nutbush city limits is on the radio, and I have discovered that I still know the dance moves (leggings and socks complete the picture), and that I miss house parties. I may have one.
I made rhubarb and apple crumble with D today. The best thing was drinking the juice left in the saucepan. Wine-rhubarby, and pink.

Friday, 20 July 2007

Thursday, 19 July 2007

No 5? what a cool dive

W = Double U.
I realised last night why this took so long to figure out, for me.
MH: But...Its dubberyou
C: no...pronounced... Doubleyou...
A: Maybe its cos u dont say the L in Paul either?

Wednesday, 18 July 2007

no 4....poor, bore, core, score.

"It's like making out with a mermaid." But like, with shorter hair.
...I felt more like a trannie, u know - sparkly dress, stockings and big hair. I had to verify with my dad before leaving the house.."do I look like a guy dressing up as a girl?"

some dive played the thong song - and it was an improvement on the live music from 2 hours earlier. which was super mario background music, interspersed with live screaming.
C was a cute moppet on the bathroom floor - the happiest I have ever seen her. And the drunkest.

I also think I scared customers away at work the next day by playing patti smith over and over. "helpless" makes me cry.

Oh shit, I've spat mandarin juice everywhere.

Friday, 13 July 2007

No.3. (which rhymes with oui!)

Just saw an ad for a clothing store - the female model's mouth was practically snarling, her lips were curling! I wonder what the advertiser/marketing person was thinking of when they created that. Something along the lines of the following: secret love of heroin chic with snarling lips and moody bitch model pose being the first step to recreating evil death look in fashion.


Wednesday, 11 July 2007

No.1. (which sounds a bit like a wee)

Uhuh. I've created a blog. It would be more exciting if it were first created on a laptop in a cafe with a cosy outlook somewhere, over malboros and coffee. Maybe in the summer time. Or depths of winter. Or middle of the night. Much more romantic. NOT so much, at 330 in the afternoon at work. In the middle of the city. With unbrushed hair. And needing perfume.